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Who is Matt James? Bachelor Season 25

We know who he is, but what I am more interested in is what he is bringing to the Bachelor franchise this year and how this relates to our lives. ABC doesn’t really give us much on their official website. So if you’d like to go there you can read his tiny blurb here. Outside of that I made a few interesting observations from the first episode that I believe will really set some themes for the season.

First Black Bachelor

It goes without saying, but Bachelor has finally done it. They have brought more diversity to their lineup of leading men. If you look through the history of their Bachelors they look like a lineup of generic white dudes. I know what you are going to say, but I like to pretend Juan Pablo never happened… ugh. It’s ok. Matt James comes from a mixed family. His mother is white and his father is black. (Like mine! I finally have a bachelor that I can relate to). He mentions it numerous times throughout the episode that he has watched his mother go through a lot with his father as an interracial couple. I believe that his experiences as a black man are going to be a theme throughout the season and will be something that will shape how he approaches it.

He is Bi-Racial

Spring boarding from the first bullet above, I believe this is going to be important. James said that he felt a lot of pressure being the first black bachelor as well as coming from a diverse background. There are certain expectations of whom he should or should not date. He mentioned being worried about angering the black audience or the white audience. That inner conflict is something that is also going to shape how he makes his decisions going into his time as the bachelor. I can relate with that feeling of feeling like an outsider no matter what room I am in. I am not black enough or I am not white enough depending on the situation I am in.

Man of Faith

I was a little surprised that a man who was about to dive into a bevvy of ladies through several weeks of debaucherous behavior started off this season with a prayer. There were probably a few women in there who crossed his name off the list after this. Faith is one of the really big ticket items in a relationship. It is a core value that is typically important for people. Being able to line up on this issue is going to be important for James. I would be surprised if he were able to date an atheist for example. I also will not be surprised if he falls for someone that he ultimately lets go over this issue.

Grew up in Single Parent Home

Matt James did not have the presence of a father figure through a lot of his life. He is also the oldest sibling. I would not be surprised to find out two things as we move forward with this season. First, there is a strong likelihood that he was a parentified child growing up. Meaning it is likely that he had to take on a lot of the roles and responsibilities growing up that his father would normally have done. He became the “man of the house” far earlier than he should have and likely had a large hand in raising his brother. Second, he is likely very very close to his mother. I got that sense from watching his interactions with her, but I am going to watch closely to see if I can get a sense of how enmeshed his relationship is with her. Her opinion is going to rank very highly in who he ultimately chooses.

Vulnerability

I couldn’t write this list without mentioning this, I mean it was mentioned roughly 122 times through the first episode. Though I feel like the producers have a quota for how many times vulnerability needs to come up in a season. This season is off to a good start with the V word. That being said, Matt James went into some detail about his usual dating trends. He is scared to get close to people because he is afraid of experiencing the loss that he saw his mother go through. A protector part pushes people away in order to ensure he won’t be hurt. This has resulted in him very likely pushing away some good partners throughout his life. I expect vulnerability or the lack of it to be mentioned often. I also will not be surprised when we have an entire scene, or perhaps episode, where they highlight his doubts. I fully expect his protective parts to get activated at some point as we go along this journey.

Thanks for taking this trip with me through what I think a lot of the themes are going to be through this season of the Bachelor. I look forward to seeing if I made the right call on these. In either case I expect this season to be far better than the last season of the Bachelor.

Photos by ABC

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Jesse Stanley

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate

Dating and relationships have always fascinated me, so I made a career out of helping people find and maintain love. Reality dating shows made me wonder, how could someone fall in love on TV and what lessons can we apply to our own relationships?

Jesse Stanley

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