The Sarah Show.. ep 3

A lot went on this week.. I think.. the drama surrounded one person. Spoiler alert.. it’s in the title. In a weird twist of fate I found myself liking Queen Victoria a few times this week. Perhaps it was the champagne. This week we finish the rose ceremony that we started last week!

Rose Ceremony

Already have roses: Bri, Lauren, Sarah

In order of handing out…

Going Home: Marylynn, Serena C., Kristin, Illeana, Sydney, Alana

A couple of notes. Sarah passes out after the 9th rose was handed out. Though if you look at the amount of roses on the table when she passes out vs when they how other scenes this may have been at a different time and edited together differently. In either case, she passes out. Victoria isn’t happy that Sarah is getting more attention. Speaking of the Queen, how is it she is still here? She keeps getting roses last so I hope she isn’t long for the series, but she totally got MaryLynn to be let go early.

Ladies, Matt, this is the final rose tonight… Do we need this? I think we know, the ladies know, and Matt knows. I am perplexed as to why this is an announcement that needs to be made with such grand gesture.

Group Date: Intimate, Sexy, Awkward.. Ashley I!

Rachael, Bri, Lauren, Kit, Victoria, Kaylah, Anna, Kali, Katie

The ladies are brought to a lovely stage, theater, underground location at the resort they are at. When they walk in a mysterious figure is reading what appears to be a section from a trashy romance novel. It is none other than Ashley I, the pillar of .. awkward! She is also reading a section from Chris Harrison’s romance novel. Well done with the product placement. The ladies seem shocked that Chris is capable of such.. talent? In either case the date is revealed to them all. It is the perform in front of a group of people date that we see each season. This performance is to write and read a steamy scene about themselves and the bachelor. They will do this in front of a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE!

I immediately wonder if they have an audience stashed away at this resort already in quarantine just for these types of dates. The ladies all stress over their love scenes, some more than others. When they arrive to perform it turns out the audience is the other ladies! HAH. This won’t be awkward at all, nope, not one bit. The ladies begin their performances and what I thought would be weird looked like it was a good time had by all. Here are the things I have learned through watching this.

1. The word groin isn’t sexy at all. In fact it is a little weird.
2. Katie brought it! One woman commented, “She must read a lot of erotica.”
3. Queen Victoria must have been the most bleeped person in Bachelor history.
4. Bachelor uncensored would be a show I would subscribe to.
5. Sarah forgot she was on The Bachelor. She is going for a ride on the struggle bus.

Before we see the group date cocktail party the rest of the ladies have a group chat. Seriously this is not organic in any way. I honestly believe there is a therapist there running a group session to debrief about things or spur along conversations. I need to know how someone gets this job. Bachelor if you happen to read this I run great group sessions.

The cocktail party commences and the ladies take their turns talking to Matt. Racheal gets a nice kiss. Their connection seems nice. Bri talks about keeping the details of intimacy private and between them. Serena P. (do we still need the P?) talks about letting love lead the way. During this Katie leads a lovely group therapy session with the women on the group date. She is wise beyond her years. This typically does not bode well for people on this show.

Sarah starts to spiral and of course she’s going to sneak over to talk to Matt at some point right? That’s what people on this show do. They sneak over to the room the Bachelor is staying in for some after hours chats… oh no.. she’s going to interrupt the group date. Oh, that’s a choice. Did the producers put her up to this? Why couldn’t this wait till another time. In what mind does this make sense? If looks could kill she would be a dead woman right now. She walked into Katie’s chat with Matt and got LASER EYES! I was rooting for Katie too.

Sarah takes up way too much time. The ladies get upset. When Sarah confronts the group to apologize the ladies were not having it. They really let her have it. She retreats from the group to go outside where Queen Victoria chats her up. It appears that she is going to be friendly and essentially stabs her. Katie takes over and Sarah reveals that she doesn’t know if she can be there. Katie continues to be wise and lays the truth on Sarah, that things are only going to get worse.

Matt comes back and ends the cocktail party before everyone gets a turn. The ladies are PISSED. Also who sets the time for these things? I feel like if I were there I’d try to get everyone in to have a turn, but perhaps other people are driving the bus here. Rachael gets the rose. No surprise there. Their connection was visible.

Individual Date… but first… The Sarah Show pt 1

Maybe it is more like part 1.5. In either case, it is time for a date with Serena P. (Why are we still saying P? She is the only Serena now!). Matt comes to talk to the ladies about the night before, but GASP! Sarah isn’t there with the group. He goes to talk to her and they share a moment. The ladies see kindness in him, but I feel like he can only do this so many times before there will be a revolt. He returns to grab Serena P (sigh) and they ride off into the sunset. No literally, they get on horses.

Instantly I worry that he may find a way to flip his horse over like his ATV from last week, but overall they do well. They have a lovely picnic complete with smooching interrupted by a donkey. We learn that Matt is indeed a dork who had pet turtles. The later portion of the date is dinner. I make a bet that we’ll see an unknown band at some point, but was disappointed that we instead got to see Matt’s turtle boxer shorts as they took another dip in a hot tub. She’s falling in “like” with him. He feels the same.. smoochie smoochie time! She gets a rose.

Sarah Show pt 2

Sarah hides from the house for a large portion of the next day or two. The ladies are gathered around for their group therapy session where they are complaining about Sarah. The date card arrives and before we learn who is going on the next date she returns. Instead of reading the card the ladies decide to let her have it. She tries to apologize, but there is blood in the water and they sharks are circling. Queen Victoria unleashes her mean girl energy, calls her toxic, manipulative, and calculating. Kit reveals her inner mean girl as well and comes from the top rope with her own commentary. Sarah retreats.

Katie continues to be the wise one in her interactions. We see her having a heart to heart with Sarah where she reveals the situation at home and her dad’s health. Katie cries and reveals her past about her dad passing away. They connect. Katie returns to the group and tells them to stay classy and not be bullies. Sarah goes to Matt, who is surprised to see her. This is despite a camera crew sitting in his room obviously waiting for her to get there. She reveals that she needs to leave. The women are being mean and she feels like she needs to be home with her dad. Matt shows us how much of an amazing person he can be and lets her go. It is a really touching moment.

We walks her out in what appears to be the strangest side-by-side walk I have ever seen a couple do. Seriously, go back and watch. People don’t walk together like that ever.

She leaves, but I would be surprised if we don’t see her again. The door seems open for a return later.

We never do find out who the next one-on-one date is this week… We shall see at the next episode!